The Empathetic Heart

Dogs can empathize.  That is part of the reason they make such good therapy animals.  Trigger is a pro at empathizing with me.  I want to know how I feel, take a good look at Trigger.  He is my mirror.  He does not hide anything an does not tell himself it wrong or bad to feel a certain way.  Just feel the emotion.  When I am up and positive he bounds around and wants to play.   When I am down he droops around and his tail is down.  This is always when he wants to get close and cuddle and his eyes always tell me that he is there and willing to help any way he can. 

I feel for you.  I am able to reflect your feelings.  Empathy is not pity and it is not sympathy.  It is acknowledging someone else’s feeling and an understanding that while I may not know exactly what you are feeling I do understand and feel for you.  Empathy is similar to a reflecting pool.  Its not an exact replica but it is close.  Empathy is not about trying to solve another’s problems it is the ability to recognize and offer a helping hand.  Why is empathy important?  It has many long range effects on individuals and the people around them.  Empathy is a key ingredient of successful relationships because it helps us understand the perspectives, needs, and intentions of others.  Empathy has some well known side effects that have been research and found to be amazingly accurate.  For example:

Empathy reduces prejudice.

Empathy is good for your marriage.

Empathy reduces bullying.

Empathy fights inequality.

Empathy is good for the office. Managers who exhibit empathy have employees who are sick less often and report greater happiness.

Empathy is good for health care.

Laughter Heals

There has been some interesting research in the canine world on whether or not dogs laugh.  I am here to say that Trigger laughs.  He gets this open mouth stretched wide and then this look in his eyes says he is laughing hysterically, especially when I am exercising.    His sense of humor knows no boundaries’ and it always seems to be at my expense.  His laughter is contagious and I just can’t help myself.  He makes me laugh along with him.

Laughter improves human well-being.  Everything from a small chuckle to a full-blown belly laugh can provide positive effects.  Laughter reduces blood pressure, opens airways, and releases endorphins.  Not to mention it just feels good.  So go ahead and do it.  Open your eyes real wide, raise your eyebrows, start with a smile build it into a chuckle and finally reach deep down in your gut and bring forth a great guffaw of laughter that builds all the way up your body, expanding your lungs and diaphragm and releasing through you mouth as a good old fashioned belly laugh. 

Laughter is a great medicine.  It’s free and is usually one of those things that pays forward.  When you laugh it is hard for others around you not to laugh.  Laughter can produce a chain reaction.  While it does wonders for you body physically the real payoff is the healing balm it can bring to you soul.  Laughter can drown negative thoughts.  It brings a little happiness to you life.  It has the power to put a positive light on even dismal thoughts.  It gives you perspective.  So take time to chuckle.  It helps brighten you world. 

Tears

Sometimes you just need a good cry.  Trigger may not cry tears, but when I do I know he is there with a sympathetic tail wag and a cuddle.  He will get as close to me as he can and look up at me with those big eyes and whimper softly to let me know he is there for me. 

Tears can be a cleansing balm.  A wise woman (my mother) once told me that if crying does nothing else at least it cleans out the cobwebs.  A good cry can help to get out the pain and hurt.  It may not solve the problem but at least it clears the debris out and opens the flood gates for a good cleansing.  Tears will not solve the problem but it can help move things into perspective or give you a new angle to look at things.  It is OK to cry.  Give yourself permission to cry.  You do not need to be the pillar of strength all the time.  Your feelings are hurt or you have sorrows, let yourself feel those feelings and come to grips with them.  Once you have dealt with those feeling you are in a much more powerful position from which you can then move towards solving problems. 

Smoke Mountain Adventure

I have recently added to my list of new endeavor.  I decided to try my hand at writing a children's book.    I decided on a futuristic tale of two children living on a highly polluted and volatile planet.  It is fast paced and entertaining while still trying to provide ethical perspectives.  It is named:  Smoke Mountain Adventure.  It is being published by Tate Publishing with a release date in February 2014.  It is available for purchase now through: http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781628541878

Here is an excerpt from the book:

The twins cautiously stepped farther into the cave. The
front edge of the opening was jagged, but once past the
opening, the floor of the cave leveled out and slanted slightly
downhill. One step led to another. Then the twins were at the
edge of the circle of light coming in from the opening. They
strained to see what was farther on, but the light didn’t reach
into the recesses of the cave.
Suddenly, a horrible groaning and rumbling sound came
up from the depths of the cave. The floor of the cave gave a
lurch, and the rumbling from deep in the ground got louder
and louder. Everywhere around them, rocks came loose and
fell to the floor. Pop Top screamed.
“Groundquake!” Tab yelled, and he grabbed Pop Top’s
hand and ran for the opening to the outside of the cave.
The noise increased, and rocks were falling everywhere.
Tab pulled Pop Top over next to the wall of the cave and
crouched down, pulling Pop Top down with him.
“Cover your head with your arms and hang on. We’ll
never make it to the outside with all the rock falling.” The
noise was deafening. All around them, rocks, dirt, and dust
filled the air. It seemed as though the entire cavern was caving
in. Tab reached for Pop Top and pulled her into the shelter
of his arms. Pop Top was sobbing in terror. She grabbed
Tab in a death grip and prayed that they would survive the
groundquake. Tab lifted his head and peeked out from under
his arms. Right before his eyes, he could see the opening to
the outside filling up with rocks and dirt. Within moments,
the entire opening was completely filled, trapping the twins
in the cave.

Happy, Happy, Happy

Trigger has the most positive outlook on life of anyone (dog) I know.  He gets excited about going out for walk.  His idea of happiness is chasing a cat, (even if I am tagging along at the end of the leash).  His antics on any given day can bring a smile to my face.  When he flops down on the bottom corner of my bed at night and lets out a sigh, I know its been a good day.  It reminds me that I need to keep a positive outlook on my life and even if I have to search, look for the good things that happen daily that make me happy. 

I am often reminded of the poem by Robert Frost, Happiness Makes Up in Height for What It Lacks in Length.  Happiness often comes in small spurts that bubble to the surface when least expected. Too often I see people going through their day with a frown on their face and negativity in their words and actions.  I think negativity becomes a habit for many people.  It is often much easier to focus on what we don’t have instead of what we do have.  It’s not about being happy 24/7, but rather being happy in the moment.  Finding something to smile about.  Making a positive comment, complimenting a co-worker or friend.  Happiness has a mirroring effect.  By doing something to make someone else happy you often feel happier yourself.   Pay it forward each day.  Make happiness a habit and way of life.  Be positive.  Like Trigger, bask in the sunshine of a good day well lived and look forward to tomorrow.

Not all Kibble is created equal.

Trigger thinks he is a person.  He will eat about anything and in large quantities, preferably people food.  (He is 50 pounds.)  Broccoli and peppers do get sorted out and left in the dish.  Other than that it is licked clean.  Dog food is a last resort when hungry and I won’t give him people food.  He has this idea that anything I eat, I should share with him.  He will sit next to me when I am eating and give me this soulful look and softly whine until I share.   Junk food or healthy food its all the same to him. 

Eat to live or live to eat.  Eating healthy goes a long ways towards establishing a positive attitude about life.  It makes you feel better and look better.   Eating and food can easily become and emotional substitute and outlet if you allow it.  Think before you eat.   While so much of life can and does revolve around food intake it does not have to be binge eating or all junk food.  Extra pounds of body weight can drain the energy right out of you. (I ought to know, I am overweight.).  So many times our social endeavors are based around food consumption.  It is hard not to get caught up in the holidays, parties or social gatherings that are centered to a great extent around food.  I like food.  I like to cook and I like to eat.  Chocolate and ice cream should be major food groups to my way of thinking and if its chocolate ice cream I have just hit the jackpot. 

Portion control is often the culprit behind overeating.  It’s hard to hard to quit after one serving of spaghetti (1 cup) or a 2 inch square brownie.  The more you eat the more you want to eat.  There is a legitimate reason they call it “pigging out”.  Eat in moderation.  My own body is testament to this as my body has been “super-sized “ a few too many times at the drive thru window.

Speed eating has become a way of life for many of us.  In our fast paced world there is often only a few minutes to spare for a meal.  Lunch is often grabbed on the go and eaten as you go from one place to another.   I have often accused my children of inhaling their food it goes so fast.  Slow down and savor the taste.  It will help the waistline and the digestive tract.

Trigger's unique perspective on life.

Trigger is a husky mixed breed, in other words, a mutt, but a very lovable mutt.  You might say I inherited him.  My daughter brought him home as a puppy because she felt sorry for him.  As time passed somehow I got stuck taking care of him.  When she left home, I got to keep the dog.  So now Trigger is mine, I own him or maybe it is the other way around.  Anyway he is my confidant when I need to talk, vent or just plain cry.  He really has a way of putting a unique perspective on my life without using words.  Trigger has taught me some valuable life lessons and has been there to pick me up and provide encouragement when I needed it.    I decided to pass on some of what I have learned. 

“Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”

Trigger is the ultimate in taking it easy.  Give him a soft place to lie and something to chew on he is happy.  He lives in the moment.  No worries, no stress.

Dr. Richard Carlson wrote the self-help book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.  Read it, it makes sense.  Stress can kill you.  Learn how to manage it.  Relax.   Too many of us spend way too much time worrying about things that we have absolutely no control over and stressing over things that we do have control of.  So, take control. 

Find balance in your life.   Life is not all about work, but neither is it all about play.  You have to find the balance between the two.  For many people in today’s workforce it is do more with less, work longer hours for the same or less pay.  Granted that may be what it takes to get ahead in life but don’t forget to take time for yourself.  Don’t be afraid to take time for yourself, you are worth it.  Find what makes you happy and do it.  For me that involves reading.  Almost every night I read before I go to sleep.  I read nothing of socially redeeming value, I read for pure enjoyment.  It may be different genres or whatever hits my mood at the time.  Take at least 20 minutes daily just for yourself. Do whatever brings you joy.